A New Blog Is Born

After turning this blog back into strictly an archive of my writing I've been able to reallocate time into a new, additional site. The Secret Garden is a place where I'm finally able to feature racier subjects that I've been wanting to cover for a while.

The new site is adult-oriented, so if you're a younger reader please exercise discretion. Topics covered will be secrets, fantasies and stories (real or fictional, no doubt with a heavy sprinkling of erotica). I'm also looking for submissions about anything you're going through that you'd like people to understand (eating disorders, addictions, depression etc.).

There will be very little held back at The Secret Garden, plenty of text and photos to get your mind and heart racing (I have a good idea of what works for many of you). I hope you'll consider following me there and remember, anything you choose to submit will be kept 100% anonymous. Any of you who know me well enough realize how much I value trust and privacy.



See you there!

Changes to This Blog- Please Read

Hey everyone, I hope you had am amazing New Year!!  We sure did.

I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm going to make some changes to this blog. Initially I had intended it to be an archive of sorts, a place to present my writing (poetry, short stories etc), and I really want to get back to that.  So in the next short while I'm going to remove some things, mostly secret Fridays and Sundays, and probably the posts where I've talked a bit about myself. Any secrets you've shared over the year have been preserved in the year-end compilations, I could never erase them.

Whatever I remove can still be found on my other blog, Life In Quotations (link here).  Since I'll only be posting new pieces of writing I'll be here less often, if you're okay with this then stay tuned. But if you want to keep up with me and what's happening in my life then please follow me on my other blog. I'd hate to lose any of you. :)

Thanks for a great year, I'm looking forward to another one.

Some Hearts (poem)

I came across this poem tonight as I was sifting through some of my older work. I wrote it when I was twenty-one after a break-up; amazing the emotions that being dumped can pull out of you isn't it?

  I'll be featuring more of my writing from this time in my life in upcoming posts.

Some Hearts

Some nights are better spent alone

Some lives best lived apart

Some hearts are better left untouched;

Their flames burn brightest at the start.

Some questions are better left unanswered

Some feelings never chanced

Some tears are better left unshed

Some dances never danced.

Some walls are better left unbroken

Some love best left ungiven,

Because when all that we think

And feel has been spoken

Some hearts aren’t always forgiven.

Graphic by lucaszoltowski 2008-2010 .  Photo credit here.

"Unforgettable" (erotica)

Your body bare and wonderful before me
Writhing exquisitely upon your lover,
Hips firm and straddled
As you slowly make love.

Room dim, the music pumps emphatically
Still you sway to your own rhythm.
Aware of my presence,
Yet oblivious
Blissfully accepting of my gaze.

Long hair cascades over your brow
Partially concealing your face,
But none of your pleasure.
Casting a sideways glance
You look deeply into me,
And at this moment we're no longer strangers.

I sweep the dark mane aside
To see the story in your eyes
Bursts of light that dance within
Fade in the sunset of your eyelids
As he moves within you.
My God you're beautiful.

You take my hand in yours
And place it on the smooth orb of your bottom
I seek out every inch of you here,
Your back, your shoulders.
Muscles tighten and release in response
As you move beneath my touch,
And upon his.

Raising yourself slightly
You silently invite me to explore the nearest breast.
I knead it, soft and warm beneath my fingers.
My arousal mounts.

Everything surrounding melts away
Leaving only our bodies, our desire.
Yet seemingly as soon as it began it's over.


Days have passed as mere seconds
And I play you continuously in my mind
Forever captivated
By this vision of you.

Footprints

  My life was touched by another today. A broken soul, lost in darkness. Yet I saw so much more; determination, passion, hope. Amazing isn’t it, how we can be surrounded by caring hearts yet sometimes feel so alone. But can we ever truly be broken, if still holding hope that tomorrow may bring with it even the slightest chance of healing?

  The intense emotion of these internal battles, with angels and demons pit against one another is unsettling, yet exhilarating. Emotions of others wash over me as water over rock, and if in so doing they erode me they also polish and refine my edges. The tide of despondence is almost relentless, yet every wave brings with it for me a new experience, a new piece of life. With this too comes guilt for taking interest in the pain of others, but paradoxically allows greater understanding and ultimately strength to walk beside them. The darkness is captivating. I’m drawn not because I wish to see it consume, but because it’s so often accompanied by light. This I’ve found unwavering. As much as we may feel so, none of us truly will find contentment forever bathed in shadows.

  We don’t stand alone uninfluenced or unaffecting; every breath we take, every single heartbeat echoes in another. Each word we speak affects someone. We wear our conversations like clothes, wrapping ourselves in compassionate words, eager to keep warm and safe. If scornful they hang off us like tattered rags.

  Every woman, each man and child influences us through their presence. We give and take of ourselves as much in passing on the sidewalk as through constant interaction. Why must we feel we walk the earth weightless without leaving imprints behind? Our footprints are not always visible to our eye but they are there, and they are followed. They’re ours to make deep so that others may have a solid footing.

  My life was touched by another today. And through the manic deluge of emotion and uncertainty she allowed a glimpse of light, interspersed amongst the heaviness of her words. And I felt strangely comforted. Because where light glimmers, hope glimmers in anticipation.

Photo credit http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/phrase/883/footprints.html

The Unpublished Poem ("Love Story")

I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to post this. It’s the first and only poem I’ve ever written for somebody to give to someone else. I’ll give you the background behind it.

I first began blogging in March of last year, and very shortly afterwards stumbled across the blog of a young woman in Australia. The way she wrote about her boyfriend was charming and completely captivated me. It was innocent, and honest, and passionate, and everything it should be. We started corresponding and soon became good friends. Several months later she revealed that she was much younger than I had thought, and that she had been writing under a pen name to protect her privacy. I thought it was a smart decision. Telling me was a huge step for her, she was afraid she’d lose my friendship. She didn’t.

In the following months she experienced an extremely traumatic event in her life which she confided in me, we were able to talk through it and it strengthened our relationship. (She and Sandy traded a few e-mails as well). She became not only a friend but I felt as protective of her as someone would their own daughter. It became an incredible relationship.

We don’t talk as often as we used to but are still in touch. It’s been an amazing thing to watch her grow through this part of her life, to see her learn from her experiences good and bad. She’s a fighter and has moved on, and although the relationship I wrote the poem about has since ended she’s found another who treats her well. Makes me very happy.

Most lines in the poem refer specifically to their relationship. She loved the Taylor Swift song it's named after. He always got down on one knee and proposed marriage, and she always accepted (“So come to me on bended knee”). He was her ‘prince’, she was his ‘Juliet’. Said he made love like a tiger, hence “tiger skin”. And so on.

So here it is. One chapter in a young woman's life whose book has just begun.

Love Story

So come to me on bended knee,

And calm my insecurity.

We'll lay beneath the Aussie skies,

Fight the dark and greet sunrise.

With stained-glass rays to warm our face

We'll run each day's uncertain race.

Love's moments spent near or apart

With you forever in my heart.

On crashing beach and windswept plain,

Through winter's chill or summer's rain,

We'll act like fools for all to see

Or be content to simply be.

Stolen nights entwined as one

When passion's dance has just begun,

Your deep blue eyes and 'tiger' skin
With every breath I'll breathe you in.

Then hand-in-hand we'll face the day,

Climb obstacles that come our way

And thank the day that we both met

My shining Prince.

Your Juliet.

S., thanks for agreeing to have this published. Our friendship means more to me than I can say.

Timeless (poem)

Timeless


Tears on your window from saddened skies
Seek quiet refuge in your eyes,
As lanterns filled with fireflies
Bring light this dreary day denies.

No longer gripped in passion's throes
Wondering where the rapture goes,
Mind drifts to misty long agos
When romance lived beyond the rose.

I'll sing you tales of maidens fair
With strands of sunlight in their hair,
Forever bathed in golden rays
Warmed by summer's yesterdays.

Playfully chased through billowed field
Each feigned protest artfully revealed,
With chivalrous advance their fate lay sealed
And love's sweet innocence sworn to yield.

It's grandeur of these days you seek
Forever's tears upon your cheek,
Flames rage within your wild heart still
Though tightly grasped in winter's chill.

As shadows play rest heavy eyes
Lost in Gothic lullabies,
Where longing for what's lost subsides
And your knight in shining armour rides.

~Barry O'Shea





Photo credit here. Ice Maiden by ChrisseCool.  2007-2010.